5 Ways to Stop Making 'Old People Noises' As You Get Older

Somewhere around your mid-40s, your body turns into a soundboard.

Bend down? Groan.

Stand up? Sigh.

Roll over in bed? Unholy noise.

But here’s the truth: you’re not falling apart—you’re just overdue for a tune-up. These sound effects aren’t inevitable. They’re fixable. Let’s turn down the volume with five proven strategies to help you move better, feel stronger, and hush that haunted rocking chair soundtrack.

1. Strengthen Your Core (Not Just Abs)

Those groans are your body bracing for effort. As postural muscles like your diaphragm and deep abdominals weaken, your body works harder—and louder—to stabilise.

Fix it:

Train the inner core:

• Planks

• Dead bugs

• Glute bridges

• Diaphragmatic breathing

A 2018 study in the Journal of Bodywork and Movement Therapies found core training reduces compensatory (read: noisy) movement patterns in adults over 40.

2. Stretch Daily

Tight hips and shoulders pull on your joints, making every movement feel sticky and sound worse.

Fix it:

10 minutes of daily mobility:

• Hip flexor stretches

• Cat-cow

• Shoulder rolls

The Clinical Interventions in Aging Journal reports that daily stretching improves joint function and cuts down musculoskeletal grunts and groans.

3. Breathe Like You Mean It

That grunt when standing up? Often it’s poor diaphragmatic control. Breathing muscles need training too.

Fix it:

• Box breathing (4-4-4-4 rhythm)

• Swimming or singing

• Yoga or Pilates (focus on breath during movement)

The European Respiratory Journal shows better breathing equals better core control—and fewer accidental sound effects.

4. Build Strength (Even Lightly)

Muscle mass and joint support decline with age—but you can reverse it. Resistance = silence.

Fix it:

• Resistance bands

• Bodyweight squats

• Light dumbbells

The Australian LIFTMOR trial proved resistance training boosts bone density, joint strength, and mobility—even in people over 65.

5. Eat and Drink Like You Mean It

Dry joints creak. Inflammation stiffens soft tissue. The right fuel can silence both.

Fix it:

• 2–3L water/day

• Omega-3s: salmon, flaxseed, walnuts

• Joint-friendly nutrients: collagen, vitamin C, magnesium

Nutrients journal found collagen plus regular movement improves joint comfort and reduces creakiness.

Final Word: These Noises Are a Message, Not a Life Sentence

Your body’s just asking for attention—not issuing a warning. Stay active, breathe better, build strength, and fuel smart. Silence is strength. (And yes, it’ll make your partner less smug.)

Next time you rise from the couch without a groan, feel free to say:

"That’s elite bracing technique, mate."